Essay

Excerpt from WILD LETTERS IN HARMATTAN
LETTER TO ANGEL, DIVINE AND GEMMA
Reflections on life, the visits and ‘the wet patch’ 

Dear little ones,

I feel very awkward writing to the unborn, particularly when I know neither your ‘pigmentation’ nor your ‘gender’, nor even your ‘class’.  My irreverence to the banalities that have held generations down has not in any way affected my eagerness to be with you, for I feel I have known you forever, having imagined you countless of times and I can describe each of you not only based on my imagination, but upon the realities of certain affinity between us, which I feel right in my marrow and blood stream as we communicate in various ways. There is yet one of you whose name I am not quite sure of now but I hold him very dear to my heart and maybe he will whisper his name to me someday while I hold him in my arms and love him as I have loved you all since I began my journey in life. I really cannot wait to see you all, be with you and exchange gifts of our inner nature, which we will all benefit from, for only then can we truly claim to be one.
For quite some time now, I have been pondering over life and its philosophies. Last week, during one of my routine visits to the maternity wards, as I held one of the new born babies in my arms and gazed at his very tiny fingers and even tinier and almost crystal finger nails which he raised up as he kept turning his face toward the source of food, the breast flowing with milk and nutrition, I played with his angelic fingers and smiled into his starry eyes which has seen no evil and knew none. The whole of him as he sat plainly in my warm arms was a symbol of innocence. There he was rapt in virginal loveliness, radiating blessedness as I playfully touched his puffy cheeks, to which he responded with generous euphonies as he laughed fluently, baring his fresh gums, which were yet to harbour any dentition. It was not long before he emptied his bowel on me and proceeded once again to seek for food, instinctively turning where he knew it could be found. Even I knew then that I should not distract him any longer for he was in the verge of crying to announce his hunger when I returned him to his mother who graciously and happily fed him until his need was satisfied and he fell asleep. As I watched him, I knew he would grow up someday, very soon, in fact.
I looked around and I saw men and women everywhere, beasts and vampires everywhere, thieves and the religious, perjurers and cheats, clowns and fools, vandals and assassins, hard working and honest people, peace loving and law abiding citizens, corrupt and wicked people, all sorts of human beings, tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, tough, rough, proud, humble, ruthless, principled, vain, tactless, shameless, greedy, cunning. As I turned and stared, they stared back at me, the good, the bad, the ugly. I knew I was one of them. One of the good, bad and ugly.
I remembered the night I met the armed robber, a very handsome boy of about thirteen years, whose eyes glazed as though fire raged in them, yet that did not take away his handsomeness even as he ordered everyone to hand over to him all the money they had. He released three gunshots up in the air and made away with all he got. The next day, a man was dragged into the boot of his car, and the car was set ablaze by an ‘unknown’ person. Some of those who expressed their worry over the increasing insecurity of their life and property and sincerely condemned the dastard act were made (also by unknown persons working with chilling or cruel forces) to decide soon afterwards to choose between the terse parameters of living either in some paradise or in some hell.
My attention was drawn to the television during the network news. I listened briefly to clips of campaign and rallies, to the political debates of various flag bearers of different parties. I saw throngs of people listening, cheering, booing, dancing, and clapping at the display of ideas, wits, and promises.  I hoped like many others before me, for the restoration of equity to the status quo and  the establishment of transparency and altruism in leadership. I saw people milling around, seeking, taking, and maiming, living life, as they know it.
I took a look again at the sleeping baby and I knew that all these people everywhere were once like this baby, sleeping peacefully, innocently. I wondered what happened to them as they were growing up, why they became what they became. I wondered what this newborn baby would be, would he be good, bad or ugly or would he combine the three? If he does, which of the three would manifest more in him? I went to where he was sleeping and kissed his forehead and hoped silently that he would be good. I felt the coolness of the wet patch where he had urinated on me and I remembered that our people believe it is a good sign when a baby urinates on a visitor; the urine is taken to be a blessing. I wondered if there was any wisdom in this belief and I found in it mainly the euphoria of childbirth, the love expressed silently in the indulgence of babies and man’s eagerness to associate them with God’s munificence toward man. The superstition of the ‘blessed urine’ is hardly harmful in so far as it traces a line of inexplicable understanding between the unassuming baby and the  smart adult, an understanding that gives and embraces love, and interprets actions from the point of view of affection instead of aversion. For if man genuinely gives love and receives love, there will be little estrangement. But because a lot of relationships lack truth and tenderness, antipathy settles in and severs lives, families, tribes and nations.
The wet patch of the ‘blessed urine’ could not be subjected to invidious scientific dissection as the one who gave and the one who received were in accord on the patois chosen to communicate authentic friendship, however bizarre. The former, in his purity and vulnerability, the latter in his effusive candour and generosity of mind. I waved goodbye to the sleeping baby and left reluctantly. With me were the memories of the babies I saw and held in my arms and hugged close to my heart. In my ears the network news reverberated and I saw again all those people, people everywhere, milling around, the good, the bad and the ugly.  THE WET PATCH, pressed now on my body as though to calm me as I worried about all those people everywhere: the men in cassock, the men that have become ghouls, the women in nude,  the women that have become sophisticated vultures, the children with firearms, the ones molesting one another in the streets. I remembered the other children I saw who obviously have imbibed good morals and gave me so much hope as they learnt from principled men and women. I felt the wet patch and I thought about you, Angel, and you, Divine and Gemma and the one whose name I do not know.
The next day, I went to the old people’s home. A clean, beautiful stretch of flats built to carter for the needs of the elderly in every way possible to lighten their burden, soften the paths they tread and help them practically and spiritually to have a meaningful and fulfilled existence and ensure that when they come to the end of their lives, they have a peaceful exit. Care and love was built into the structure of the house. The steps were built to be so low that even the weakest of them could climb it easily. The sources of ventilation were amply provided with such conveniences as a lush garden and recreation centers, library, television rooms and loving assistants who provide their food, medication and ensure their comfort. Each time I visit them, I never cease to marvel at the similarity and disparity between the newly born and the aged. The ones, who could no longer walk, eat by themselves, talk or help themselves much, gradually drift once again into childhood and senility, needing support and love to imagine and provide his needs.
I stood before the very old, remembering the newborn baby. One was wrinkled and bony, the other was fresh and tender. One was going, the other was coming. One has seen it all, all that life on earth is made of, the other is a new comer, naïve and assailable. I looked at the old one, perhaps he was a hundred and twenty years, perhaps his age was much less, with sunken cheeks, hollow eyes, feeble bones, week and scanty dentition. He has lost his earlier handsomeness and gait and even the memories of his valour and prowess. The vanity of his youth means nothing anymore to him, neither do his escapades. Even his gray hair has receded, leaving little or no strand standing. Very soon, his grave will be dug and he will rest in it forever. Death would soon close in on him.  He would be remembered by what he did on earth. If it were strong enough to be carried on by generations, it would be passed from one generation to the next. If it were good, it would be to his credit, if it were bad, it would be to his discredit. Generations will remember him for his evil or for his good. And if what he did were too weak to stand up, it would have a lifespan as short as the average man’s memory span. Indeed life offers only what it has which is what each individual makes of it. The newcomer may be ignorant, but let him not remain so for too long for he needs to stand up early enough to understand reasonably the life he has come into in order to make of it the best he can. Let no one take refuge in benightedness when an ardent search for illumination would accomplish better result.
I write to you children, even before you arrive and ask you to pay attention, for even the breeze around you is a mystery which you cannot ignore. The world into which you are coming is full of mysteries. The mere fact of your existence is an enigma and you will find out when you get here that there are a lot which you will have to make serious effort to understand about yourself,   about people and their beliefs. You will see a lot of the drawings of man when you get here, a lot of representations and works of imagination. Some men are painted white, others black. Some maintain that white represents purity while black reflects evil. God whom a lot of people believe to be the Supreme Being is said to be white, while the devil, the evil one is said to be black. My children, no one knows the pigmentation of God, if he has any, for all those who have seen God the way he truly is are not concerned about his pigmentation. They have ceased to preach about his ‘whiteness or blackness’ and are now living out the values of God. They have long learnt that God has been living among man since time began and they are therefore recognising and serving him daily in one another.  When you get here, you will see things for yourselves and you will make up your own minds, for the truth you tell yourselves lives with you always.
If you observe keenly when you get here, you will discover that the time we spend here is very short indeed, about hundred years old at most. Rarely do people live above that in many parts of the world. A great number of people don’t live close to hundred years. Yet a couple of years, a few decades are long enough for one to live one’s life in full. If you know and counsel yourself early enough that there is hardly time to waste in wantonness, and indulgence in the banalities of life, you will do well to curtail your youthful exuberance and check your excesses, noting that impertinence, waywardness, drunkenness, smoking, drug addiction, insincerity, shallowness, lack of focus are choices which the fool makes to be his ruin. They are as retrogressive as envy, greed, villainy, treachery, parsimony, murder, rape and hatred. If you turn against these as early as you can, and shape your character to support an orderly life, the tempest will come, life’s turbulence and storm, but your willpower built from years of learning and practice of good living will withstand the virulent wind.
The life you are coming into is a constant battle between right and wrong. You must be brave and courageous to choose right all the time. When you slip and fall, you must rise again as soon as you can. You will find among the people you will be living with, goodwill and lightness of heart. You will find also subterfuge and jealousy. In those who live fictitiously, pretending to be what they are not, fanning their vanity, you will notice an aching emptiness which will make you pity rather than hate them. For you must know that greatness is found in humility, there it makes a home and lives. You will do well to hate no one for you will gain nothing from it. Instead you will lose your peace which resides where love blossoms. When you decide to show love and concern to everyone around you, even though you meet with obstacles as you are likely to be taken for granted, spurned and unappreciated, your perseverance will make an impact someday for even those who are corrupt and unrepentant have the law of right and wrong written in their hearts so that when it pleases them, they act upon the good done to them several years afterwards. Even though it is natural that goodness should expect its reward, do not indulge your appetite for rewards; they will come by themselves sometimes when you least expect them. 
The men and women of the world have been going on about civilization and globalization. Some talk about emancipation, others talk about restoration and spiritual revival. All these are beautiful phraseologies, which you must not allow to confuse you. The concept of each of these is good, even though the breakdown of their content and the practice might be worrisome.  But if you care for everyone unconditionally and learn to share your gifts for the good of all, promoting the ‘good’ you see in others and making good use of all you can lay your hands on, you would have gone several steps ahead in liberating possibilities for yourself and the rest of the world. And if we sincerely seek to love and help one another to attain maturity in the world we live, establish our forte and have a meaningful existence, accepting one another as equals, refusing to practice a slave and master relationship,  refusing to put down our fellow human beings on account of colour, race and status, building healthy united nations, developing individuals and states, taking real interest in one another’s well being, we would have attained civilization, globalization, emancipation, restoration and revival at various levels.
This is what I say to you, little ones, when you do get here and grow beyond the period when your ‘tiny fingers’ and ‘crystal nails’, your ‘starry eyes and fragile, little frames’ spell out your innocence, before you become old, and ‘wrinkled’ with ‘sunken cheeks and hollow sockets’, do not simply drift with time as you mingle with all sorts of people who populate the world. Spread your eyes all over you, and do not feed your mind with sleep. Starve yourself of much of ephemeral pleasures, look inwardly to discover your talent and stretch it to its limit. Use it to help others indiscriminately. Remember that the world is full of people, the good, the bad and the ugly. All the people you see have made their choices: the lawyer, the rogue, the prostitute, the president and everyone you see in various professions, in various practices and places. You will be no exception. You will make your choice between right and wrong and choose how long you remain with your choice.
Listen, dear little ones, the beauty and ugliness of life is there for you to see, no matter how tough the situation anywhere might be, people have survived terse environments and transcended their limitations to become champions in their own rights. When you arrive, brace up for challenges, which could be people and economic oriented as well as traditions even of moribund residues and the whole gamut of ideologies and conflicts. Be mindful of all you do and never forget that love fills the calm tongue with which the snail traverses the thorns. Love is that which lubricates relationships.
The night will fall, it always does, the wise one does not die of the fear that he might be consumed; rather he conquers fear with a stout spirit, knowing very well that fear could be a spinner of evil. Fear of insecurity, of deprivation, of joblessness, fear of any kind could make a fool of the chicken hearted  and cause him to harm himself and others. But you must not fail to stand above your fears and ensure that you do not waste the limited time available on earth.
It is important for you to know and this is the truth I am certain of that you can place your life in your own hands and direct its course exactly as you want. Your life is yours to shape as you wish even in dire circumstances. People might throw in proposals as to how you will live your life. Among these people might be those of us who claim to love you and many others who are not sure what they think of you, including those who out-rightly dislike you, for it is not practicable that you will genuinely be loved by all, but do not live your life based on anyone’s proposal. Do not confine your life to the restrictions imposed on you by people, society, environment, repeated failures or circumstances of your birth. Anyone who sincerely craves freedom from the shackles of idiocy will toil relentlessly and triumph. If you want, you can be of transcendent genius, coming all the way from the gutter.  It is only your own conviction and determination that can carry the weight of your life. The good news is that you can make of yourself what you sincerely desire, giving it your attention, talent, hard work,  dedication and enthusiasm which softens the tight edges of your dream until your perseverance takes you to the ‘celebration ground’  when YOU have transformed your dream into reality. Even then, do not cling to the trammels of success lest you forget that the most important things are  more in making yourself and others whole than in receiving entertainments and accolades.
By the time you get here, you will see that everything is ready. The cycle of life remains the same. As I am writing you now, a child is being born, someone is dying. Some are coming, others are going. Some are fooling around. Others are redressing the ravaged paths of humanity. When you do come, seek out the purpose of your presence here and fulfill the mission. All I can give, I have prepared for you. But do not expect that I will dote on you unnecessarily for I am more inclined towards ensuring that you become distinct and responsible individuals, having good training and being able to train yourselves especially in the area of discipline. Life is yours to live it and share it with all the people you will encounter. I urge you to embrace one another in love. Come and live life in its abundance, in the fullness of your love, knowing fully well that what the ‘old’, ‘wrinkled’ and the ‘dead’ leave behind is what they did, what they gave. I know you all have a lot to give. I shall not obstruct your generosity in any way.     
I await your coming then, don’t be long.
Fondly,
Mum.